New Blog

Check out my new short story blog:

Fiction Stranger than Truth Stranger than Fiction

http://tis-strange.blogspot.com/

Annyong!
샘-샘 (Sam-Sam)

Zen Kimchi'd

I'm still a blip on the K-Blog radar!

Consider the ttongchim posts a public service announcement for the next group of expat teachers. Or next wave or next constant stream or whatever. It's like the new foreign legion I'm saying!

215 posts is a nice even number for a little while though...

Ttongchim Evil?

So in reporting my experience of what I knew as the "dung-chip" phenomenon during my year of teaching, it seems I made an error in pronunciation. It seems the actual act "똥침" is said more like "ttongchim" (d/tong-shim) so mostly the same.

Get this: the rough translation of the special attack is "dung needle."

There is a similar act in Japan known as Kancho. There's a great explanation here.

Here's a bit from the Korean Wikipedia entry! (somewhat translated via Google):

"Iran together into one index finger of both hands ttongchim seunhu, anus of another person with the aim of stabbing one of the children's fun. Chojunggogyosaengdeung primarily, the underage students are often among his age group enjoy the kind of a joke.

Usually done as a joke, or is not ttongchim evil, just like any business, you can be that much violence is in excess."

It goes on to describe (I think) the medical dangers of overzealous ttongchiming.

Be wary.

Wary like this family wasn't...

[Don't be ttongchim evil.]

Dethroning Dongchimee

It's been more than six months since I left Korea, but a discovery too incredible not to share has drawn me out of retirement.

I stumbled across this game today and it blew my mind.

Move over Dongchimee. [EDIT: or maybe not...]

Assume the role of your average dung-chipping Korean hero— hands permanently clasped in the (not dissimilar) prayer and/or dung-chipping stance— whose goal is to dung-chip a disembodied, starry-thong-wearing flushed pink buttocks into oblivion. Naturally you have to dodge the perfectly formed dung piles that fall down towards you (complete with buh-je-jic sound effects).

Sold?


This totemic dung-chip zealot will periodically fall from the top of the screen to "level-up" your dung-chipping finger shot from yellow to blue to red.

If you hold down your mouse, your dung-chip will power up in high octane anime fashion and your character will launch up the screen to deliver a true between-the-cheeks dung-chip to your diarrhetic adversary.

Like so:

똥침!!!!

------------------>

Be careful because each dung hit to the face will stun your character temporarily and if your energy bar disappears...

YOU LOSE!

...BUT! If you managed to dodge the dumps and dung-chip your score bar to the max then...


And in your victory screen it is revealed your opponent was none other than some poor mohawked slob who you dung-chipped till he wept.

Feels good to win...

[annyong.]

"Welcome home," said Nova Scotia.

"Thank you," I replied.
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world."

She blushed a little.

Seoul Sought -or- So long, and thanks for all the kimchi

I leave Korea tomorrow, homeward bound for Halifax via Toronto and a brief back-flip through time, and thankfully no layover in the United States (no offense; airport hassles, you guys know the drill).

I've said most of what I wanted to say about Korea through this past year in posts. I have been trying to think of something conclusive to say about what I'll take with me from my time here— nursing bekseju, pondering Han, laughing with the most wonderfully spirited children I've ever gotten to know.

If anything, I've taken equal parts pride and humility from this year. Pride at where I come from, the values I now choose to see as Canadian, and the things that I realize make up my idea of home. But also the humility that comes from being a long-term guest in a country where life can be baffling, and you tend to feel like a creature of spectacle.

I am incredibly grateful for all the kindness and generosity people have shown me here, from my endlessly obliging hagwon boss, to the kind Paris Baguette proprietor Mr. Kim and his countless free pastries, to the friendly restaurant ajummas who would smile and flip an extra fried egg onto my bowl of bibimbap.

Today was my last day at the school, and I faced a barrage of little people hugging my legs and saying:

"Bye-bye Sam Teacher!"

"Thank you!"

"I love you!"

"Bye-eeeeeee! Goodbye!"

It was pretty sweet. I'm going to miss these little ones. Part of me wants to smuggle a few off in my suitcase and take them off somewhere green, and as far from a classroom as possible.

Thanks to all who read and were entertained by Seoul Seeking. Though this is my last post from Korea, feel free to check back every now and then and I'll post links to any new writing or blogging that's worth a spit.

***

And so it went that 25-year-old Sam-Sam shed both a Sam and a sticky-tacked-on extra Korean year as he climbed onto an airplane and began a long haul backwards in time, grateful for the memories and the new perspective on this mostly green and blue cosmic lump we all inhabit our own little nooks of.

Sometimes it helps to not be so exclusive with our choice of nooks.

Annyonghi kyeseyo, Korea.

(Goodbye.

Polite.

When leaving.)

Don't forget to remember

In my mailbox this morning I found a helpful letter from the Korean government reminding me that my Visa expires in 10 days.

That's kind of like shouting to a trapeze artist with one hand on the final bar, "Hey! You're almost there!"

Thoughtful, but profoundly unnecessary.