Sometimes, the Nova Scotian in me just can't be suppressed.
Last night I made a grievous admission in class which just gave the doung-joke camp more lewd fuel.
The most inexplicable of speaks always come out of nowhere, and play out like the wall of a glass house greeting a flock of migrating birds. As we were practicing some random reading passage, Joseph stood up in his seat with random gusto and announced:
"Teacher! I am hold the arse!"
He then set straight into a botched headstand which laid him out in a few seconds flat.
I was 100% baffled.
I squinted in complete confusion.
"Joseph, did you just say 'hold the arse'?"
I was at a loss. What in pluperfect hell was this kid talking about? Thanks goodness there was a solar system vocabulary chart on the wall so he was able to point out his true intention.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I said, everything suddenly so obvious, "Earth!"
'I am hold the Earth...' Oh right, headstand holding the Earth, ha-ha, whatever. At least now I understood. My newfound grasp of the situation lulled me into a false sense of candid speech.
"I thought you said 'arse' Joseph, back home that's another word for your backside."
What had I done.
"Arse!? ARSE! ARSE!" The chorus echoed through the classroom.
Jin-hyuck, was unusually reserved about the new vulgarity. He was busy scratching something down in his book.
"Teacher!" he said at last, "He told the arse."
He then pointed to a chola-man rendition of a mildly perverted Atlas holding a disembodied buttocks. It looked like this:
I can only hope this is as short lived as the "pee house" debacle.
As they say, you can take the boy out of the Maritimes...
A Canadian writer teaches English and finds out what it's like to be a foreigner.