A Canadian writer teaches English and finds out what it's like to be a foreigner.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Worst. Date. Ever.

I feel irresponsible for not drawing this to your attention earlier. This is a photo from my very first weekend visiting Seoul with Shane and Edison, way back in September. I had completely forgotten about it until recently.

We were trolling the sidewalks of the shopping district Gangnam, and stopped in Korea's most prominent coffee chain The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for my first real cup of java since my extra-large fell victim to the "no liquids" airport policy the (early) morning of my departure.

In the Coffee Bean my comrades and I were privileged to witness what was without a doubt the worst date in the history of mutual attraction— which is perhaps the longest and most sordid of histories.

Edison took the voyeuristic shot while Shane and I fake posed a few feet away from the couple's table. On the bright side, we only had to worry about one of them noticing.

Here it is, clandestinely yours:

When I first showed this photo to a friend, she remarked that it was funny that the woman came equipped with not one, but two means of distraction, and here she is employing both at the same time.

I drafted several scenarios for how this situation came about:
  1. The woman has the personality of a styrofoam cup, and the dude forgot that he wasn't just drinking three coffees by himself, and dozed off.
  2. He works an all night back shift to support his girlfriend's 6-green-tea-lattes-a-day habit.
  3. She slipped sedatives in his coffee because this is the only time she can enjoy her contraband feminist literature without the shadow of Confucian chauvinism looming over her.
  4. He's really just that clueless.
In any case, this moment was way too priceless to ignore.

What's Korean for: "I think we should see other people"?


Shane said...

I want to imagine that she's reading about having a stimulating relationship and he's dreaming about drinking coffee.

God I love that picture. I want to party with them...right...now.

Jono said...

What you don't know is that that book is actually the instruction manual for the newest cell phone craze, cellular-REM interface, wherein she is actually engaged in text messaging dreams directly to her boyfriends cerebellum. That, my friend, is actually the best sex he's ever had.

Anonymous said...

The Coffee Bean is in Korea? Its a California based chain.

Sam said...

Yeah, there's one every few feet in Seoul. It's probably the same chain; Starbucks is just as ubiquitous. I guess the North and South of American coffee both need a piece of the action.