A Canadian writer teaches English and finds out what it's like to be a foreigner.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Bye-Bye Bushey?

"Teacher! You know Bushey?"

She was referring to the US President by the moniker most Korean kids seem to know him.

"Yes," I told the 13-year-old student, somewhat surprised by the question, as I was leaving the last class of the day on a Friday.

"You know he is die?" she said with a ghoulish look.

"I don't think Bush is dead."

"YEEE-EEEES!" the twofold whine came affirmative.

"Who told you he was dead?"

"I was in video store, and ahh... see the video, and on the back and Bushey is die!"

I knew right away she was referring to this movie, and that while presented as a documentary of the plausible assassination of Bush, it is indeed a total fiction.

"Oh, I know what you mean, but the movie isn't real," I said.

"Teacher, is real! I see it!" she replied, slightly affronted I might call her a liar.

"Yes, I know the movie is real, but Bush isn't really dead— the movie was fake."

"Nooo-oooo!" came the same whine now negative.

"Bushey is die!"

I didn't know what else to say to shake her conviction. She was probably just having a good time with it now.

"Teacher, is true, Bushey is my friend say!"

"Bush is your friend?"

This prompted riotous laughter from the stragglers who had stayed to hear our debate play out.

"Teacher! Noooo-ooo! My friend too say he is die."

"But the movie wasn't true," I said again.

"Teacher! You have 10 million?"

Huh?

"No, I don't have 10 million."

"Oh! I mean 10 thousand. Teacher!? (it's hard to punctuate the way they say this as a combo question/announcement) We say Bushey is die real, and you give me 10 thousand, OKAY???"

"I don't think so," I said, not a betting man.

"10 thousand bread."

Huh?

"Huh?"

"10 thousand money, or 10 thousand bread," she said, sweetening the pot— depending on your point of view.

"No," I said with finality, "Bush is not dead and I'm not giving you 10 thousand anything."

"INTERNET!" she said, with twice the finality, calling on the ultimate decider (despite claims to the contrary).

"Okay, to the internet!"

The tubes provided us with decisive evidence that Bush was alive, and in fact had addressed the American Enterprise Institute on the state of Iraq naught yesterday.

Not convinced at the authenticity of my crafty English websites, the spunky girl insisted I search "Death of a President" on the Korean search engine Naver, which only provided a trailer for the movie which further convinced her she was right, and deserving of 10 thousand bread.

Our stalemate understood, we called it a night.

Good luck Bushey.

3 comments:

Shane Patenaude said...

My God, I'd hate to owe someone that much bread. I'd be without sandwiches for eternity.

Jake said...

The question is, is this a good deal. Is the exchange rate between dollars and bread 1:1. Is that 1 dollar equals 1 slice, or one loaf? Also, if the later, can one wait on the delivery of said 1 millions loaves. I doubt I could eat all 1 million in one week before they go bad. Perhaps if you had some sort of regular delivery..

Sam said...

If the bounty on Bin Laden's head was changed to a sum of breads (assuming that it's not loaves, but a variety such as green tea, sweet potato and cuttle fish ink) would that rally the soldiers of fortune?

The ratio is about 1:1 in 1000s of won (dollars) to lumps of bread (let's consider them to be "themed buns" some filled with buttery cream, others deep-fried croquettes with a hot dog and kimchi inside).

I would have made that bet in a heartbeat if I was in France.